Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Now That I Am Actually 30...

I've been full-on 30 now for a couple of weeks, and I can't say that I really feel much different. I know, HUGE shocker that one more day in your life doesn't change things that much, but I did still harbored an irrational fear that everything would change once the big Three Oh hit.

I have noticed one change though. That irrational fear of aging is fading. I still hold a bit of concern about what life will be like in my later years, but overall I'm more confident that I'm not going to fall over crippled by various spontaneous ailments.

There are still quite a few problems I'm working through: after knee surgery last year, I'm still trying to recover fully. I just learned (the hard way) that running on pavement is a big no-no for me at this point in my knee recovery. I'm still struggling with stomach issues, but it seems I've learned what combination of foods, drugs and activity will keep things under control. And I'm constantly fighting the prime gay fight: what is the optimal hair cut that enables me to look cute and young while maintaining a modicum of professional presence and without looking like one of those ridiculous gays I use to make fun of that still wear Abercrombie and Fitch well into their 50's.

Of course, I am keenly aware of my age these days. And, also of course, I know 30 isn't ancient or old by any means. But there was a few year period in my mid-20's where I would frequently forget which age I was. Someone would ask my age and I would have to think for a minute. Not any more. I'm 30 and I know it.

A good friend told me that when he turned 30, he had a moment of realization that he, much like the honey badger, just didn't give a shit. He stopped worrying so much about what others thought of him and stopped worrying about upsetting random strangers in social situations. I don't know if I've achieved this level of nonchalance, but I will say that I have reached a point where I am growing more comfortable with myself as a whole, which bolsters my confidence.

I'm 30, and just about everyone I went to school with is 30. My husband isn't far behind. Personally, I'm more than happy to welcome the next chapter in my life now that I've crossed the line into 30-something territory.